Since I’ve lived here in Lead Hill, I’ve witnessed this itinerary of events Dad has so precariously subjected his body to:
– Rammed a large fish hook in his thumb all the way to the curve. Yanked it out himself with needle -nosed pliers. He screamed; I puked.
– Lodged a jerk bait with three treble hooks through his hat into his head while casting. That was some interesting field surgery with a rusty pocket knife and no antiseptic.
– Watched him drive a riding lawn mower after it fell from a ramp… perpendicularly.
– Assisted in breaking his foot by using an unsecured log splitter. He said, “it’ll be fine.”
– Watched Mom pull a one-inch log out of his eye with a pair of needle-nosed pliers after I had just told him to use eye protection while using the table saw. He screamed. I passed out.
And now he has 10 staples in the crown of his head because he can’t hear anyone say, “Timber!”
Just when I thought Mom would be his demise, the plot’s thickened…
Check out more of his shenanigans on Youtube:
And stay tuned for future book signings.
An Impossible Cast 